Stargazing : Isn't that what tabloid journalists do???

I FOUND MYSELF A HERO!!!

That doesn't mean I've never had a hero in my life. Obviously, Jesus Christ is a big hero who loves me very much. I'm thankful for everything he's done for me. I consider him my spiritual hero. He's present, I know this, and someone I depend on when I need to talk about... anything! He's great, but he isn't who I'm talking about today.

I also have a... writing hero? I don't think that was the title I really need in this instance but I can't think of what else to call him. Osamu Tezuka was a master storyteller, with a huge cast of characters that just inspire me out the wahzoo! Though he's been gone for over 20 years now, you could not find a better a better sensei. But he's not who I'm going to talk about today either.

A few days ago a dear woman I've been following on Live Journal posted a very touching story. She wrote about how as a young teenager she had sent an email to a very distinguished artist in a fandom along with a small bit of artwork. A few weeks passed.... and to her utter amazement, he replied. She admits that her artwork at the time was terrible (and I've seen some of it, it really was... unpolished) but the artist only gave her encouragement, AND he sent her a drawing back in response as well.

This began a small correspondence between the two of them, Rookie and Artist (as I will now refer to them, no disrespect to Rookie, of course). Though Rookie now realizes her emails could be nothing more than childish rantings (think what your small, pre-teen cousins would say if they met the Jonas Bros. in person... yeah, like that) but Artist never once treated her like an annoying fangirl or ever was terse and uninterested. Instead, he only continued to encourage. She would send him art and he would respond back with more. The Artist even tried to emulate the Rookie's style in his replies and she's shocked how he would care to do such a thing.

My new hero, however, is not the Artist. Instead, it is the Rookie. After all, after all these years the Rookie is not longer a rookie. Instead, she's a great artist whom I adore greatly.

Sometimes, like her, many of us find ourselves excited about something someone else has done. We send fanrants or make fanart. Some write fanfiction. And how many times have all our good intentions get smashed by trolls and snobs? The internet can be such a cruel place. You want to be expressive and artistic but sometimes people just don't know how to be nice about it. They'll tell you things like "you suck" or "it's insulting to have you talk to me this way" when you're honest to goodness just trying to express your love for something or someone.

Rookie has always been kind to me and everyone else who comments on her art or LJ. I guess you could say the legacy of being kind moved down to her, so she's nice to everyone even when she admits she doesn't feel like it. I... wanna be like that.

I'm a bit of an irritable person, especially when I'm tired. I've never been terribly popular about my fics or anything (I don't do art) but if I ever get to a point where people ask me for betas or something I want to be able to say I'd do it gladly, even if their stuff isn't great or full of stupid chatspeak or something.

So, I think I'm gonna stop this rant here since I'm feeling like I'm about to lose consciousness even though it's in the middle of the day. Grinding away at the same game will do that to you.

Anyway, I'm out.
~H.D., who does this for the android

So if you want to find me look to the western sky...

Guess what I got for Christmas???? Lotsa stuffs, but I'm especially excited about my new games and CDs. You know, this is first year in... I think the last five that I got more than one CD and NO Border's bookstore gift cards. Crazy, ne?

Well, the last week or so has been pretty crazy for me. You know that big blizzard that pretty much turned the entire south central U.S. into frozen pastry? Yeah, my dad had us all pile into a car with all our presents and the food we were supposed to bring and drive through that, after 2pm. You know, it was ridiculous! I'm just thankful we had 4-wheel drive (my dad is adamant that we never would have left if we didn't have a car with 4-wheel drive but I wonder...) or we would have gotten stuck. We passed a LOT of accidents because people were dumb and out in their low to the ground sports cars. Stupidest. People. EVER.

But my family survived. We had to stop in a different town than we expected, since visibility was already difficult without it being night time. We were a little less than half-way to our destination... Normally, when we go to the city to see my grandparents it takes us less than 2 hours to get there. We were barely half-way there... and it took us over 3 hours, and we had to stop for the night. Yeah. It was a blast. 9_6

I'm currently trying to blast my way through Persona 3 (PS2) but I had forgotten how absolutely crazy the dungeon in that game is. It's a tower, for those of you who don't know. It's over 200 levels high. And certain levels won't let you pass until enough game-days have passed. Yeah. I'm about half-way through it and I've been grinding those dungeons for over 60 hours now. I'm about ready to put it to bed, but I need to finish that game or I can't join something amazing. I'll tell you more about it if I get to that point. Until then, wish me luck!

............... This is my last post of the OLD YEAR. In less than 6 hours it will be the NEW YEAR. I'm a little anxious, as I always am on New Years Eve. It's non-specific anxiety. General anxiety. You know.

But I don't wanna let it get to me. This last year I hung out with two people I didn't realize were so dear to me, both of which I sorta only met this last year anyway. One is definitely a kindred spirit but the other is more of a foil of myself. I love them for their differences. But I know I get on their nerves ALL THE TIME. Hopefully it's not going to be an every day thing this next year.

I also discovered that writing is not my forte. I love to write. It's what I want to do. But I don't think I'm particularly great at it. It's just... what it is. I want to do something spectacular with my talents but sometime I don't think even I know what they are. Perhaps my future forever lives within the realms of sandwich crafting............. You know what the sad part is? I think that may be true.

I'm not depressed. I've never been a depressed person, but I'm rambling now because I'm being sentimental about last year. Maybe I should take up the Japanese tradition of blocking out the old year with booze and just focusing on the future! That would be great. Except I might nix the booze part. I'll replace it with chocolate..... or tea.

Anyway, I wish you get more out of this year than the last. May your harvest yield ten-fold, and may your children and oxen forever be healthy. Kanpai! Ciao~! Fuzzy pickles! And all that rot.

~H.D., who sometimes feels like Elphaba though maybe I don't deserve such a sentiment

I don't get this internet stuffs...

Yeah, so I started this blog tonight in an effort to de-stress a bit, but it kinda backfired.

Lately all I've been able to learn is how terribly bad I am at the internets. I mean bad. Really bad. I just can't seem to do anything right with anything. I'm terrible at making pictures, I can't draw or use photoshop or anything like that, I'm too shy to comment on other people's blogs and stuffs and why am I this way? I mean, when you think about it, the internet is supposed to be the final frontier in a way, where you can be anyone and not have to care what others think about you. But I'm so far behind most other people in my generation, I just can't do anything.

I'm trying to get into some new games and learn more about chatspeak and whatnot, but I'm still at a loss. I mean, I keep finding acronyms I don't understand. It's cool to learn new stuffs, but I sometimes even find one or two I don't know about, like this one: NSMILF. I'm totally lost with it. Maybe it's something bad, but I really couldn't say. The urban dictionary doesn't even say anything about it (or I overlooked it in my bmudness).

I also wish I were a better artist. I know it's random to mention that here, so maybe I'll talk about these specific woes in a later post.

Anyway, yeah, I wish I understood this internets thing better. I kinda feel disconnected and its an anxious feeling. Like, I should understand more about it since I'm part of the information age, but I'm too far behind I'll never catch up, but if I don't catch up then I'll be swallowed up by the oceans of cyberspace when I need to get something done the most.

*sigh* Yeah, sorry for the rant. I'm just trying to sort out some feelings, though.
~H.D., still making sandwiches